Classes are becoming routine and boring, and life seems like just like any other day. I have to keep the power of Christ in the forefront of my mind cause He is the only who save and keep saving me. How do I do this? How I do I live this life out, or that is how do I let Him live in and through me. I’m afraid of the consequences of these, or is it of the way to this? It seems like the means is the consequence, and the end is a distant dream. I was reminded in class today though that life is meaningless without Christ working through me.
I remember writing in my year end assignment last year, knowing what I know now, I would rather die now and get it over with, than have to live and work at this Christian life. What’s the point? I really gotta keep that in mind. The Christian life is Heaven now, on the way to Heaven, not just heaven someday. If it was heaven someday I’d just make heaven now, so I don’t have to put up with the crap that leads to heaven someday.
There’s so much to think about, there’s so much about this life to conquer, yet there is so little. If I just fully put my faith in Christ it would be so much easier, but actually taking that step is the hardest thing for me to do. Why can’t I just let go? Does God have to snatch things away for me to finally realize it is His. I *do* know it is His, I’m just like a child, holding on to that dear possession I know I have to give back.
Lord give me the strength to give it back to You. You are the only one worthy, so you’re the only one that can make me worthy.