Woke up at like… 10. Then went pretty much straight to work. The Workshop was alright… I think the kids at Milliken were way better than the ones at Heron Park… at least more enthusiastic. So that was cool. I did Arts and Craft for a change, no more song session. So that was yeah, fun.

When I got home, I ate then slept. Then woke up, ate again, played some medal of honour and then now I’m getting ready to sleep again. What a day… made a little money, slacked a little off… read some on the bus. My perfect saturday.

listening to The sound my keyboard makes when I type on it
verse God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgement because as He is, so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. - 1 John 4:16-18

Today was a stupid day for driving… I caught the finger twice, one, I suppose I deserved, but the second, the girl was just… stupid. But anyway, let’s not dwell on that. It was pretty crappy way to end an otherwise, alright day.

I get a four day weekend yay… Good for now, till I see my pay cheque that is. I shudder to think about how much I’ll loose.. actually ghar, it’s close to 200 bucks. arrgh. Torn between, no work and no pay. *sigh. Anyway, Monday’s mandatory… It’s a civic holiday. But Tuesday, I just felt like taking off. I need it anyway. But also, I’ll be choosing my courses then… Fun fun, can’t wait.

Uhh.. Yeah I think that’s pretty much all that happened to me.

listening to I Still Believe - Jeremy Camp
verse Therefore, holy brethren, partakers of a heavenly calling, consider Jesus, the Apostle and High Priest of our confession. - Hebrews 3:1

*SIGH! This post got lost, ghar! Meh… Nothing too interesting happened at work, just.. work today. We got potato salad from one of my kid’s mom, which was really cool. I had a MASSIVE lunch, which lead to a massive case of itis after… But that about it for work. Yesterday night, I checked my start time, and uhh.. no start time. Turns out I didn’t accept my offer of admission for UofT… Crazy. I have a student ID, a ROSI account, etc.. but still not an official student. Weird. The registrar fixed it though, which was cool. I still had to “accept” the offer on OUAC, but she at least fixed it so I can choose courses on Tuesday, Which is super helpful.

Got accepted to the focus group gig thing… 75 bucks for like 3 hours of work. nice.

Next I went to Jerlene’s party. It was fun. Adults playing huckle buckle… Enuf said…

Alright, the real reason why I’m even determined to duplicate this post… I got a forward from a friend, and for some reason I opened it. Then for some reason, I actually read it. I almost never do that. I’m glad though that I did, cause this is a line of it…

The two most power-filled words…………………..”I Can”

Inspirational, but ahh.. not quite truth. “Actually, just the opposite,” I said to her… The two most power-filled words is “I Can’t” Why? Because our realization that we can’t is the same realization that only God can… The realization of our deficiencies, in light of His ability. “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves.” We are but earthen vessels (Jars of Clay), weak and poor, but oh how great is the treasure that is Christ in us… It is because of our cracks and deficiencies that He shines.

listening to Your Love is Extravagant – Casting Crown
verse For this reason we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away from it. For if the word spoken through angels proved unalterable, and every transgression and disobedience received a just penalty, how will we escape if we neglect so great a salvation? - Hebrews 2:1-3

Today was the crazy trip day that is… Leacock. Things were all messed up from the beginning, first it was raining, which meant we had to go to the back up plan, which wasn’t really the back up plan, cause we had to modify even the backup plan… So yeah, it was the back up backup plan. This meant that we could only run the inside booths in the morning, but because it would be dry in the afternoon, we could run the outside booths then. Which meant we moved the cheers in the morning, and one rotation, lunch, then another rotation. :S somewhat complicated, and pretty much all that planning we did went down the tubes…

It was all good though, amazingly the day still ran pretty smooth. I even got out of taking the buses, I had to drive to the event back and forth.. So yeah. That was cool. If this is what ACs do, I think I’d like to be one next year… or hey, the year after that. I’m going to UofT, I’ll be around for a while.

Which brings me to the next point… I didn’t get a start time! Gha. I need to call UofT now to get that.

Ahh well.. Time to sleep.

listening to Never Know – Jack Johnson
verse God, after He spoke long ago to the fathers in the prophets in many portions and in many ways, in these last days has spoken to us in His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the world. And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power. – Hebrews 1:1-3

I’m posting this morning cause I went pretty much straight to bed after I got home yesterday… dead tired… Ghar, and today is supposed to be the crazy day. I finished our Area Day booth yesterday, the “Ball Toss” took forever… probably an hour… it was basically gluing plastic cups to a bristol board and trying to reinforce it somehow. I learned from experiences last year when the cups broke. I want to keep this thing for Carnival by the Brook (in two weeks). So this year, instead of tennis balls, we’re gonna use these squishy balls I found at the dollar store.

After work, I went straight to the dollar store before picking Josh up from work. Then I went to his work where he still had kids, which gave me the opportunity to do some field tests of my second booth, the water gun shooting gallery. The small dollar-store water guns didn’t work too well. The kids had to stand too close to the toy soldiers to shoot them down, so I had to quickly formulate a back-up plan… I’m gonna have my volunteers bring in their guns. But now the problem is figuring out how to keep them filled up. Sigh sigh.. Whatever, can’t control everything. We’ll just have to wait till we get there.

Anyway, that was pretty much the day. Off I go…..

listening to I Still Believe - Jeremy Camp
verse Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been declared to you from the beginning? Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth? It is He who sits above the circle of the earth, and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers, who stretches out the heavens like a curtain and spreads them out like a tent to dwell in. He it is who reduces rulers to nothing, who makes the judges of the earth meaningless. Scarcely have they been planted, scarcely have they been sown, scarcely has their stock taken root in the earth, but He merely blows on them, and they wither, and the storm carries them away like stubble. “To whom then will you liken Me that I would be his equal?” says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes on high and see who has created these stars, the One who leads forth their host by number, He calls them all by name; because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power, not one of them is missing. Why do you say, O Jacob, and assert, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord, and the justice due me escapes the notice of my God”? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary. - Isaiah 40:21-31

Well it has been a pretty great day over all. I found out yesterday that my mom and my brother are taking the van to their missions trip next week, which is really bumming me out, but even that couldn’t really affect the day.. I dunno, it was pretty lazy, but still pretty full of activities. It was sleepy, but still full of energy. Lots of contradictions huh. I guess alot of it had to do with my evaluation today… Whoopee.. Exceeding Expectations. It’s pretty good, though I guess I can probably tell a little that my supervisor was a little easy on me. Or I dunno… hah, maybe I am just that modest and my camp really does rock! hah. never mind… nothing more about that.

I went shopping during lunch today and bought some more candies and treats for the kids. I just love doing that… spoiling them. But of course, the trick is not to give them candy until just before they go home. That way, they’re happy with you, but then you don’t have to deal with them being all hyper from the sugar. Let the parents take care of that, I says…

After work, I spent some time at Bridletowne, where Josh just happened to be doing the extended hour shift.. we couldn’t leave till around 5:30. I cashed a cheque for him too, that kinda scares me a little, cause I dunno if it’ll go through for sure.. But ahh well, he got his SD card, and I got yet another CD… another Bebo Norman, Ten Thousand Days… yay. That’s actually the cd that got me into him, so yeah sweet.. It was expensive though. But as I said to Josh, Bebo’s worth it.

Ok meh, I need sleep…. The Hammer Holds -

A shapeless piece of steel, that’s all I claim to be
This hammer pounds to give me form, this flame, it melts my dreams
I glow with fire and fury, as I’m twisted like a vine
My final shape, my final form I’m sure I’m bound to find

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I’ll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

And the water, it cools me gray, and the hurt’s subdued somehow
I have my shape, this sharpened point, what is my purpose now?
And the question still remains, what am I to be?
Perhaps some perfect piece of art displayed for all to see

The hammer pounds again, but flames I do not feel
This force that drives me, helplessly, through flesh, and wood reveals
A burn that burns much deeper, it’s more than I can stand
The reason for my life was to take the life of a guiltless man

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I’ll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the pain
And hurt a little, hurt for me, my future is so bold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

This task before me may seem unclear
But it, my Maker holds

listening to The Hammer Holds
verse (Verse-timony 8 of 28) How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart all the day? How long will my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken. – Psalm 13:1-3

There were about 50 people in the room, 6 or 7 on stage. Is there something wrong with me? The songs were good, the atmosphere was right, I guess.. What was playing? Oh yeah, “To the Ends of the Earth”. Pretty moving… “Jesus I believe in you, and I will go… to the ends of the earth, to the ends of the earth…” Most of their hands were lifted up, their eyes were closed, and they were singing. Man, I couldn’t even sing, and not just because most of their songs were too high for me to be singing. Is there something wrong with me? How can all these people be able to pour out their emotions so easily to our God? Then preacher preached… well actually it was more of a stand-up comedy act than preaching. His message? No Fear! Don’t be afraid to show that you love Jesus. Good message… but… What if that isn’t how I worship? “Faith without works is dead…” Right. But is works the requirement for faith? No, it is the outpouring of faith.

So what is emotion? What is it to lift up your hands? Is that the outpouring of faith? For some I don’t doubt it. But… No, not for me. And don’t try to tell me that it has to be. Don’t fault someone for worshiping God with lifted hands and eyes shut… But don’t fault someone for their simple worship either. When did worship become confined to a building anyway, to a meeting, to a song, or for that matter, to music?

*sigh…

I went to Churchill for church today. It was pretty cool. The preacher there was cool, he has my dream job – essentially, a missionary to politicians. Isn’t that sweet? Afterwards, me and some friends went to Montana’s to eat. That was sweet too… Their corn bread is amazinnnggg… The steak sandwish was great too, but the salad had waay too much dressing. I felt my arteries clogging as I gulped it down. Who am I to stop eating that tho? Haha! Afterwards, everyone came to my house to play some poker.. Fun!

Meh, that’s about it for the day.

listening to Finding You – Bebo Norman
verse You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin; and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons, “my son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved by Him; for those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom he receives.” It is for discipline that you endure God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed. – Hebrews 12:4-12

*Sigh… I’m spending too much money. Ghar. I picked my parents up from Missisuaga. They just came back from Florida, they went to my uncle’s house, whose car I was using.. So I had to return their car and at the same time pick my parents up… Anyway. I stopped by Mitchell’s on my way there, to kill time that is.. and ended up spending 60 bucks on cds.. Ok well 2 of them were gifts, but 2 more cds :S… Chris Rice and Bebo Norman… What are you doing to me!!!

Meh… Off to spend more money…

listening to Deep Enough to Dream – Chris Rice
verse (Verse-timony 5 of 28) Do not be deceived, God is not mocked for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. – Galatians 6:6-7

Messed up day… After a whole week of no incident reports, wham, 4 within like 2 hours :S and then I find out we’ve got a complaint against our camp. Makes no sense, parents love me… but looking through the attendance list, I can kinda guess who it is. But meh, I can’t talk about this.

James had the car too, and I had to take the bus home.. But that wasn’t so bad I forgot that the TTC can… sometimes… be comfortable. But then again I was on airconditioned busses the whole time.. Usually, meaning the 54, no aircon, meaning crazy hot. Plus it was really nice outside. I was even wearing my tear-aways on the way home. Whee…

I think I mentioned this sometime before… Sometimes it just feels like the world is spiraling out of control. It’s a good thing, I know, less of me is more of Christ… But it’s uncomfortable…

listening to The TV…
verse (Verse-timony 5 of 28) Now therefore, thus says the Lord of hosts, “Consider your ways! You have sown much, but harvest little; you eat, but there is not enough to be satisfied; you drink, but there is not enough to become drunk; you put on clothing, but no one is warm enough and he who earns, earns wages to put into a purse with holes. – Haggai 1:5,6

Hmph. Sometimes it seems like I never stopped working. Over the 3 weeks, I think I worked an average of 50 hours a week… Oh yeah, I know it’s not that bad, but I only get paid for 40 hours of that, if even… And add that to the 2 hour drive a day to work and back, it adds up. I’m out of the house at 7 in the morning, and I’m back in at 7 at night.

I got paid alot less than I was expecting today… And then, I had to track down my pay stub yet again. The pay stub explained why I got paid so little, but it produced even more questions. It says I worked 61 hours in two weeks, when it should be 80.. yeah that’s something to be brought up to the boss.. that 19 hours I’m missing is 200 bucks I’m missing! Ghar, gotta pay off my credit card.

It’s all good though, then I had to drop by a community centre I used to work at and met up with and old friend. That was encouraging.. right, he’s making 25 bucks an hour now, cause he stopped working for the city. Ha! Why do I stay? Meh, I’ll figure it out.

I did my staff evals today too.. well, 2 of them. It went well, and I really can’t say much about it so…….

Ok I’m getting better at this, I think…

listening to the fan blowing air at me (yah, I’m spoiled, central air, and a fan…)
verse (verse-timony 4 of 28) The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds; there is no one who does good. The Lord has looked down from heaven upon the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God. They have all turned aside, together they have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one. Do all the workers of wickedness not know, who eat up my people as they eat bread, and do not call upon the Lord? There they are in great dread, for God is with the righteous generation. You would put to shame the counsel of the afflicted, but the Lord is his refuge. Oh, that the salvation of Israel would come out of Zion! When the Lord restores His captive people, Jacob will rejoice, Israel will be glad. – Psalm 14