Bah again! I’m done the exam, and I KNOW I failed it. There’s no other way. I knew right from reading the questions that it was fight for marks, not to even pass. I’m hoping I at least have 40%, so that my work of fixing that mark isn’t too hard. Depending on how bad it is, though I might even just drop the class altogether. Gah.

I swear, if I ever find a class that only has papers, I will so take it and love the instructor, even if the subject sucks, like.. I dunno sexual diversity, or evolution or something. Bah. I hate exams.

Bah. This is my 3rd post in like 2 hours, cause I’m so distracted. I’m supposed to be studying for a midterm exam I have to write in about… 3 hours. But I hate studying for exams. I’m in class right now, so thank goodness I can take a break. But man, I hate exams.

See, contrast my studying right now for this exam, to writing a paper, which I was doing exactly 1 week today. It was easier for me to write a paper because it’s more definite. I know what to study, I know what questions I need to answer right there. I hate how exams are so… unknown. Bah. That goes with the test I wrote the day before (last wednesday). See, although it was a test, the prof gave us 3 questions in advance, telling us that 1 would be answered during the test. Fine by me. Again, specific studying. Knowing what questions to answer, even if 2 of those questions I answered while studying were never gonna be in the test.

Bah. I hate exams.

For those who still don’t know, I am a student. I attend the University of Toronto doing their Honours Bachelors of Art program. I have two majors right now, History and Political Science. I’m classified as a third year student (based on how many credits I’ve earned so far) but as it stands, I am exactly 1 credit behind from how many I’m supposed to have. So either I need to take a course this coming summer, or I take the maximum allowed number of courses to take next year to make up the difference in order to graduate on time in June 2009.

Just a little more details on that… This year, I’m taking 6 Courses. 3 Histories, 2 Political Science, and 1 Theology. The Histories are: History of 19th Century Europe, History of 20th Century Europe, History of Modern Espionage. My Political Science Courses are: Politics in Southeast Asia, and Introduction to Political Theory. And finally, my theology class is Scriptures in the Christian Tradition.

I’m enjoying my classes right now, although I am now concerning myself with what you may call “the calm before the storm”. Within the next few weeks, assignments are going to start piling up (as they normally do, this time of the year).

I’m not just a student, however, as I do work. I am still a bartender, currently employed at Roy Thompson Hall. It is a concert Hall that mainly features the Toronto Symphony Orchestra. And although my job title is “bartender”, in fact, I’m mostly a concession stand attendant, who occasionally sells liquor or beer. That’s my main employment right now, but I also have another side-job, which is teaching piano. I say side job, because at the moment, I only have 4 students – of those only 3 pay me (I trade lessons with the 4th student – he gives me drum lessons, and I give him piano lessons).

On the extra curricular activity side, I am of course, heavilly involved in the Music Ministry at my church, Morningstar Christian Fellowship, where I am one of the piano players. We used to have schedules with specific “bands” we play in. I used to be part of Band 1, which meant that I used to consistently play with the same people every week. But now the schedule has been done away with, and so right now I’ll only find out during rehersal who I’m actually playing with a certain week. I am also part of the orchestra, which plays for special occasions, such as Christmas, Easter, etc. In all, I’m usually on stage once every 2-3 weeks.

Still no girlfriend. Haha. Much too busy to be worried about that right now. Especially with my focus on trying to motivate myself for school. Don’t ask me what I want to do with my life, cause I still don’t know. But I do plan to take the Foreign Service Exam next summer to see where that leads. Otherwise, mostlikely it’s more schooling for me after I get my degree.

Hope that sheds some light on the mystery known as Chris…

As you can see, it’s gained almost as much hits as number 2 and 3, but in about half the time it’s been posted.

So anyway, looking forward to continuing to serve the Lord in this way. On that note, I’ve got another milestone I shall be celebrating soon… Tomorrow to be exact. My 22nd Birthday. Although.. is that really a milestone? I suppose I should call it that cause I didn’t do anything last year, while I’m planning something this year.

Eh…

A little piece of Christian writing has been circulating around in my group of friends for a little while now. I wasn’t really paying any attention to it, except for a little comment here or there – done, really without ever actually reading the text. But then one of my friends messaged us, asking for help because one of her non-christian friends was debating with her about it, and she was running out of things to say. Well, of course, wanting to help, I checked it out and began to write out my defence of the writing. But once I read and really understand what it said, I just couldn’t defend it, but had much criticism of my own.

Here’s the writing… it’s titled “Satisfied“

*******

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to the Christian says,

“No, not until you’re satisfied and fulfilled and content with living, loved by Me alone and giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone.

“I love you, my child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

“You will never be united with another until you are united with Me – exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or belongings.

“I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to bring it to you.

“You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.

“Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you.

“You must wait.

“Don’t be anxious and don’t worry.

“Don’t look around at the things you think you want.

“Just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you’ll miss what I have to show you.

“And then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would ever dream.

“You see, I am working this minute to have both of you ready at the same time.

“Until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready, and you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I’ve prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me – and this is perfect love.

“And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love.

“I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.

“Know I love you.

I am God Almighty, believe and be satisfied.”

*******

Not that there’s anything so inherently wrong with the writing. It’s beautiful and heart-warming. But here’s my criticism of it…

******

That this passage is talking about *finding* someone.. be it *the* “perfect” someone or otherwise.. is the wrong conclusion to draw from this little spiel thing. See this is why I have a problem with Christian writers writing without references to the Bible. Because without these references, what writers are conveying are merely opinions, rather than truths… timeless truths.. True under any context, and any circumstances..

Rhetoric like “You see, I am working this minute to have both of you ready at the same time” is *dangerous* because it implies that when we do find what we believe to be the “perfect love”, everything will be all peachy and nice. Tell that to the greater than 50% of Christian couples who are divorced.

See, God never says that He’ll find the perfect someone for us. What He tells is is what perfect love is: patient, kind, not jealous, not arrogant.. etc etc. 1 Cor. 13. Duh it’s been read at pratcially every Christian wedding there ever was. But not only that, He tells us how to attain this perfect love, or rather in whom we find this perfect love. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. (1 John 4:16). And so, if God is living in our lives right now we too may also have the characteristics of this perfect love in us. I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me (Gal. 2:20).

Not that it’s that easy either.. That just because Christ is living in us, we will always have perfect love. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. (Rom. 7:19). But God’s promise is that He is continually working in us and bringing us to perfection until the day that He returns to give us new and perfect bodies (Philippians 1:6).

I don’t think God is preparing someone specifically for each and everyone of us (though he might be). In fact, I believe that for the most part, God in His grace, will give us the choice of who we’re going to spend the rest of our lives with according to our preferences, likes and dislikes. His only requirement is that we find someone who like us – someone who has He who is Perfect Love itself, living in her/him as well.

******

Hmph. We need to critically read everything with reference to the Bible. No matter how nice and peachy it is. Not matter how “godly” the message is. The fact is there is only one truth. And it’s found in the Living Word, Jesus Christ. Revealed in the written Word. The Bible.

This past weekend was World Fest 2007 at my church. The final activity thing was a concert by the Toronto Mass Choir.

And, as with pretty much any major event at the church, there eventually is the problem of parking. Namely, there’s never enough. But what the church does do is spend ridiculous amounts of money to run a shuttle service to the parking lot of Coretec, a nearby business, with whom we have a parking agreement.

But of course, this still does not deter some from parking where they’re not supposed to. This is what Julius, Dave, and I did…

I guess you can call them “Christian Parking Tickets”. And yeah I know, it may seem overly-pious in a holier-than-though kind of sense. But we did end it on a positive note. That is, a positive challenge. Here’s what our notes said…

I especially liked the one I put on the car parked right beside the No Parking sign. And of course the “Alpha-Flag” Car that Dave put his on. Uhm, I guess what we were trying to say here is. As Christians, we should live with a higher expectation of each other. Of ourselves. We are redeemed and righteous, by the precious blood of Jesus. And we should each strive to Excel. Still. More.

God Bless.

1. There’s this kind of… strip mall… really near my house. It’s not really a strip mall.. doesn’t really have any stores in it. But my video rental place is there. And so is my bank (Bank of Montreal), my favourite sushi restaurant (Ama Sushi!)… And various other places I frequent. So nonetheless it is a place I go to quite often. But here’s the deal. Whenever I go there… I have to cross the street. And everytime I’m on my way there, I always *always* jay-walk. But when I’m returning to my house already from there… I *never* do. I always use the cross walk… Weird huh? LOL.
2. I noticed this about myself a little while back… maybe a couple of months ago. And now I always catch myself doing it. Haha. Whenever I’m drinking coffee, when I finish, I look inside the cup through the little sip hole to see if there’s any left. If there’s any left, I’ll drink it, but I keep going until I’m sure there’s none left. LOL. (I think I noticed it this day when I went in to class really really sleepy, and I grabbed 2 extra large coffees… one when class started and one during the break. So that was a big boost right, coming from practically dead, to fully awake and aware.)…
3. I only groom myself when I go on stage at church. LOL. No that doesn’t mean I don’t shower or whatever.. I always shower. But I normally only shave, or fix my hair (buzz it down) whenever I’m scheduled to go on stage (And I normally do it 3 or 4 days before I go on, to let the hair grow out a little). Haha. Otherwise, I let my hair grow out until it’s kinda ugly and uneven, and I leave my beard until I can’t stand it any longer. Hehe. What this means, practically, is that I do all this grooming stuff about once every 2 weeks, cause that’s generally how often I’m on worship team at church…

Hmph. Phew. Well to end off, I’m going to post some more random pics from the past few weeks, which I do promise to blog about very very soon, as soon as the craziness of this weekend and next week finishes.

Bah. I can’t find the pictures I’m looking for. This one is from the Apple Picking day we had… I’ve got more… plus more to come from World Fest and stuff… Yeahhhh… Ok time to isleep na.